From http://www.humancartoon.com/blog/archives/000038.html Saved in case it goes down.

Specifically, the recipe he demonstrates is for a dish called puerco pibil, a slow-roasted pork item ordered by Johnny Depp in Once Upon A Time In Mexico (a dish that tastes so good it inspires him to kill the cook for some reason). But what Rodriguez's instructional spectacle lacks is a much-needed visual list of ingredients. Dauntingly, I watched the video over and over -- rewinding, pausing, fast-forwarding -- so that I may present to you, here, what you need:

5 tbsp. Annatto
2 tsp. Cumin
8 Allspice rat pellet things
1/2 tsp. Cloves
1 tbsp Black Pepper
1/2 cup Orange Juice
1/2 cup White Vinegar
2 Habanero Peppers
2 tbsp. Salt
8 cloves Garlic
5 Lemons
A splash of Tequila
5 lbs. Pork Butt
and some Banana Leaves (whatever)

An additional requirement, Robert specifies, is a coffee grinder -- but not the one you use for your coffee. The usually time-and-money-saving Rodriguez advises you to go out and get another coffee grinder, presumably so that your pork doesn't taste like coffee and your coffee doesn't taste like puerco, or pibil. Also recommended hardware: blender, oven.

Regarding some of the aforementioned ingredients, well... some of them ain't commonplace. My current roommate/sugardaddy and I had to drive 20 miles just to get the annatto and we never found the goddam banana leaves. Oh yeah -- it's important to cite that all the spices listed were purchased in their seed- or stem-like configuration. Sorry if you already went out and bought that extra coffee grinder before reading this far and then found all those spices in powder form. You just wasted your time, and you're a damn fool.

Where was I? Oh yeah, the coffee grinder. So you take your annatto, your cumin, your allspice, your cloves and your black pepper and throw it all in the grinder. Now, grind the shiznit out of those spices. Once you've pulvarized them to dust, you've created what's called achiote paste -- and, you're done with that extra coffee grinder. Throw it out.

Okay. It's time to chop up them habanero peppers. Unless you have a palate of galvanized steel, I recommend removing the veins and seeds from those peppers beforehand. After that, I advise that you wash your hands for three days straight before even thinking about picking your nose (I speak from experience). Once you've wussied up your peppers and chopped 'em, throw them in a blender with the orange juice and the vinegar.

Hopefully, you emptied your extra coffee grinder of its spices before you threw it out, so now add those to the blender along with your salt and garlic. Chop up the garlic beforehand, if you're so inclined.

Then blend blend blend, like it's a new dance craze.

The next step is to cut five lemons into ten halves. Squeeze their juicy insides into the blender like so many pimples into as many bathroom mirrors, and then add the splash of tequila. You could, while you're at it, take a swig of that tequila, but you're about to use a sharp knife to cut up five pounds of meat so... well, let's put it this way: if you're the "exciting" type who likes to leave the seeds in his habaneros, then by all means, drink up.

"Cut the butt," as Rodriguez would smirk, into two-inch squares. I know from experience that this is really fun.

Throw the cut butt chunks into a 1-gallon freezer bag, and pour that goofy vinegar-achiote mixture out of the blender and over the meat. Close the bag and squish the goo all around the meat. This has no practical purpose, but is also fun.

Here's the part with the retarded banana leaves. Allegedly, you're supposed to line the pan with them. Oh, did I forgot to mention you need a baking pan? Yeah, it should be about 13x9x2. Anyway, I used foil instead because apparently there are no banana leaves in Florida, and it worked fine. [Subsequent experiments revealed that banana leaves are an inferior pan lining to tin foil, and change the taste of the pork. - Ed.] Then dump the vinegar-achiote-meat concoction out of the freezer bag and into the pan. Finally, cover the whole damn thing with another sheet of foil, sealing the edges. If you managed to find banana leaves, cover it with foil anyway. This isn't fun and games, sonny. The foil's gonna keep the heat in.

At this point, everything in your whole stinking kitchen should reek of annatto. The next logical step, then, is to transfer that smell to your whole house by putting all this crap in the oven. It's gonna sit in the oven at 325 degrees for four hours, which is just enough time to clean up the mess you made when the tequila spilled all over the floor.

Four hours later, pull the pan from the oven using oven mitts or folded cardboard box flaps if you're poor. Serve over white or Spanish rice that you started preparing a half hour earlier if you were smart. Enjoy, ideally with a Corona or repeat viewings of the fourth season of Mr Show.

See, Robert Rodriguez? That wasn't so hard, putting it into words like that which people could print out or freeze-frame. Oh, well. The extra effort was worth it; puerco pibil is good food. As far as I'm concerned, Rodriguez has only improved his already impressive credit with this recipe... which, according to Johnny Depp, means I should kill him, I guess. But I'm too full of pork right now to move.
Posted by kyle t. at September 23, 2004 12:38 AM

http://www.cracked.com/article_16054_6-endangered-species-that-arent-endangered-enough.html

I'm almost positive that jayme with her botfly fear should not click that link.

Just sayin.

Julia
i'm sitting here looking at seattle craigslist

Party on, Wayne
http://seattle.craigslist.org/see/cas/574572001.html
like that?

Julia
BRANT!
i just put penis on my computer at work!!

Party on, Wayne
haa did you click?

Julia
you dick!

Party on, Wayne
4:02
you're the one looking at cocks at work

I doubt this is going ot make a much of a difference in the mind of the true mercury blamer, but hey, we'll see.

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/01/08/health/08autism.html?ex=1357448400&en=785cae9e14ba1f60&ei=5090&partner=rssuserland&emc=rss

I'm trying to find some kitchen glassware, but I don't want to spend a lot and I think it's cool, so I'm trying to find labware. The problem is that if I'm looking for, say, an 18 or 25x125 or 150 test tube with a screw lid, I can either buy 1 for a ludicrous price plus 25 million in shpping, or I can buy a goddamn case of 500.

Same with glass jars, etc etc.

But I still think it's a really cool idea. a 25x150 test tube holds nearly two ounces, which is perfect for small quantities of spices, and there are some nice jars. And a mortar and pestle for 8 bucks instead of 50 is nice. I just need to find a reasonable supply house.

edit:

Oho! Carolina Biological Supply has what I need, with only 7 dollars shipped!

731521

Pyrex, Bacteriological Culture Tube, Screw-Cap, 25 x 150 mm



742892

Mortar and Pestle, Porcelain, 130 mL



715621

Specimen Jars, Glass, Screw-Cap, Shoulder Type, 8 oz, Pk 12



Subtotal

$43.45

We went to teppanyaki tonight, and had a good time. The chef guy was very amusing and highly skilled, as is standard, and regularly made "Japanese whatever" jokes, ie: when he was slicing zucchini he said "japanese french fry, like McDonalds!"

But then, he's tossing a lemon half from his spatula to his knife and he misses and says "Oh, that was Japanese mistake!
....
Just like pearl harbor! So solly!"

I nearly had a stroke

God I don't care who you are, that's funny.

"Soyfucker"

So the american cancer society has found yet another way to be completely irresponsible:

they identified 'warning signs' of ovarian cancer

The joke here is that ovarian cancer both has no warning signs, and kills approximately 8 people a year.

So the WARNING SIGNZ are as follows:

Bloating, abdominal pain, feeling full quickly when eating and feeling a frequent or urgent need to urinate.
NOT THAT THATS GOING TO MAKE WOMEN GO EVEN CRAZIER
Johnson said women should consider news of the symptoms a heads-up. If the symptoms are new and persistent, neither women nor their doctor should dismiss them.

Jjjjesus christ.

RIP mister wizard. You may have seemed like a strange, strange man to some, but you sure taught me how to crush a can with just temperature differential!

45 5F E1 04 22 CA 29 C4 93 3F 95 05 2B 79 2A B2

OMG SO PATHETIC!

adult swim really has a website that all television shows should have.

So you probably won't care about this at all, but you should. The FDA is probably going to approve cefquinome for use in cattle this week.

Cefquinome is a fourth generation cephalosporin, a type of antibiotic. It's also very powerful, and not very good for people when they take it. While this sounds bad, it's not. The reason this is a good thing is because cefquinome is not used very often, which means that it still works. There are currently various superbugs floating around hospitals (MRSA, VRE, bla bla bla. if you watch house you've probably heard them talk about some of these). Cefquinome still works against bugs, including superbugs. It's a last line of defense for people who are going to die from these bacterial infections. It kills bugs that have evolved penicillin resistance, and it kills bugs that haven't. It's a great drug.

And the fucking ranchers are going to use it in subclinical doses on their fucking cows. This means they give the cows a little bit of the drug every day to keep infections away. The reason they want this drug is because they've done that for so long with other drugs that they no longer work because the bugs have evolved. These bugs that the ranchers (along with irresponsible hospitals and physicians) have made into superbugs are able to--and have--infected humans.

Fucking christ, this kind of nearsighted shit makes me so goddamn angry.

There's a strain of tuberculosis that's completely resistant to all known antibiotics/antifungals.

There's strains of MRSA out there that can barely be killed.

And now we're going to lose one of the few guns we have remaining in the rack.

GLAHALHAHA SO ANGRY RIGHT NOW.

I've also been called "asshole" and "cockweasel" and "fuckcamel" and "cuntwaffle" and "shitglutton" and "porksword" and "wangbasket" and "shitwhistle" and "thundercunt" and "fartminge" and "shitflannel" and "knobgoblin" and "boring."

I WANTED TO BUILD A PUNK ROCK AIRCRAFT CARRIER


AND YOU PEOPLE FUCKE DME OVER

STOP PISSING ON MY DREAMS OK?

Psych is an undoubtedly interesting place to work: the patients are fascinating, the drugs are really neat, and occasionally you get someone who actually gets better.

However, those who get better are few and far between, and their stories are seldom as interesting as the stone cold fuckin crazies.

For instance, there's an old lady up there who we'll call Shirley. She's a paranoid schizophrenic with bipolar disorder, senile dementia (alzheimer's type), and a seriously bad attitude.

( Why I took a second shower today behind the cut. )

iphone giving me a boner!

Kill me now! Please! Einthoven expressed the relationship between leads I II and III as the sum of any complex in leas I and II equals that of lead II. Thus Lead I + III = II. stated another way, the voltage of a waveform in lead I plus teh voltage of the same lwaveform in lead III equals the volaage of the same waveform in lead III. For example, when you look at leads I II and III, if the R wave in lead II does not appear to be the sum of the voltage of the R waves in leads I III, the leads may have been iuncorrectly applied.

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Ahh, vacation. It's a pleasant time of the year. I haven't put real pants on since I got back from Mass, and I undoubtedly smell bad. I've been drinking beer and playing video games. It's nice work if you can get it.
Unfortunately, today my wonderful sense of solitude is going to be SHATTERED by the wedding of a friend of mine from school. Of course, on the upside, they're basically using a wedding as an excuse to throw a massive New Year's party, which isn't too shabby I don't think. Of course, I'm sure there will be some women-based chaos because--as we all know--weddings make women totally insane.

I was going to have some tortilla chips
but then i realized I don't have any tortilla chips
so I took goldfish crackers and split them in half and put them in a bowl
and I'm pretending that they are chips

I guess it makes me kind of a loser, but sometimes Scrubs makes me a little sniffly.

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One of my lifelong ambitions (I set the bar low) is to be called an asshole by a telemarketer.

TODAY THAT DREAM IS REALIZED!

just got a telemarketer
talked to a rep
"I want you to take me off your goddamn list"
>what's your telephone number
"You just fuckign called me, why do you need my number"
>I didn't call you, the machine did
"You already have my fucking number, stop calling"
>What do you want me to do about it
'I want you to go fuck yourself"
>oh, that's really nice, where did you learn to talk like that
'From your whore of a mother after I raped her dead rotting carcass'
>you're an asshole

Click

I walked into the bedroom today and noticed the smell of burning hair. I lay down, and one of the cats approaches.
I notice a bald spot and the fact that he reeks of both burning hair and having learned a lesson.

Life is nice!

I don't understand how an adult--or semi-adult like me--can have a home/apartment without having a bookshelf of some sort. While mine doesn't have the finest reading material around, it's at least got something. WHAT DO THESE PEOPLE DO WHEN THEY'RE ON THE SHITTER?

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As an addendum:

I need a) a hobby other than video games--maybe an instrument?  Anyone have any suggestions?

b) An opporitunity for volunteer work for both my current schoool and medical school.  Once again, anyone have any suggestions?

c) The new Xbox iPod killa looks totally awesome, although ZUNE is a totally stupid fucking name.

So I haven't updated this bitch in a while at all, and I'm sure that both of you are quite interested in what's going on, so here goes.

I just got back from California, which was generally nice.  My folks are actually happy to be together for the first time in years.  I think a big part of it is that my mom has stopped taking my dad's shit and will actually stick up for herself.  I think this is great.  In california, I saw a date palm and had the best date I've ever had--but on the downside, I almost broke my tooth on the pit.
I also saw my gramps for what's probably the last time.  He's down to about 125 pounds, and is looking pretty rough.  I also learned that he's really a dick.  I'd never seen any of this through both the rose-colored glasses of youth and the fact that he was always on his best behavior with me when I came by with my buddies.  But sick and as an older person, he's really pretty unpleasant.  My mom told me a story about the time he tried to pop her one when I was about 3 and the family came to Christmas in Palmer.  This was somewhat disconcerting, to say the least.  It was also very hot in the high desert, in the 115 range.  I subsequently melted.

( This one is getting long, so only click if you acutally care )

I've developed a timeline for medical school, and by 2013 I should be a real doctor.  I'll also be old by that point, but who cares, it's something I want to do.  I'm going to finish my degree at Penn and then hopefully proceed to a decent medical school by late 2008.  Of course, I might fail horribly, because that's what I do, but hey.

Does anyone know anyone who's been in the Peace Corps?  I have some questions: How do you get water?  Where do you live?  Can you get mail?  Do you get vacation?  What do you do on your days off?  Are there lots of black people there?

I had shit thrown at me the other day.  A handful of fucking feces, SPLAT right on my scrubs.  That was either a high or a low point in my life.

My homeboy is coming down next weekΩ (where the fuck did that omega come from?), and I'm really excited.  I know it's queer to admit feelings and stuff, but I'm really excited to see him, and I miss living with him.  We understand each other pretty well, and have a very good understanding of the value of staying the fuck away from each other, which is something that's not understood by some--not to name any names.  It's just a different sort of gig here.

I'm dreading going back to school this fall.  More of the same, I think it's going to be--psuedoscience and busywork.  I started the program for patient contact, the ability to make a difference, however small, in the lives of patients.  But all I got was sexism and lectures on how magnetic bracelets really work for chronic pain.  Every person in the profession I talk to says that school is utter bullshit and the work is completely different, but jesus christ I'm ready to be done.  I'd be out of here and on board for premed at Penn or somewhere else if this wasn't the easiest path to my bachelor's--of course, I have to man up and take a year of genchem, ochem and physics (and a calc course)--on top of the nursing courses.  This may prove to be somewhat of a challenge to accomplish in 3 semesters.

The upside of this all is that I'll be able to earn somewhere in the neighborhood of 40 bucks an hour, which means that I'll be able to work a single 12 hour shift a week and be able to pay bills.

So that's my story!

ps: John I miss you!  What's happening in your life?

Alcoholism is the only disease which you can get yelled at for having.

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I think I'm going to go to medical school.  My name will then be Dr. Brant.

I am also planning on attending medical school at one of those Carribbean schools with a name that tries really really hard to make it sound like it's in the US.

Anyone else think that it's a totally awesome idea for me to a) be a doctor and b) go to med school on St. Maarten?

Today is a banner day!

Last night during my shift I actually figured out sudoku--not the concept, which I had down, but the actual mechanics of playing a game.  Now that I understand that, it's a good deal more interesting.

Jayme, you were right. 


Also, Josh or Jayme-- remember the jizz trees at blair?  In the Locke/Insley dining hall gap thing?  There are jizz trees in my backyard, and they still creep me out.

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I called an escort service today because I need more friends.

turns out they just want money for sex.

I was like "ha ha, what?"

Stolen from Dinosaur Comix.

I'd like to have a midget friend because then we could go out trick or treating and I could dress him as a ghost and we could pretend he's my child and get one of those voice box things that made him sound like a child instead of Barry White.

OR

we're getting a cat but I've given the womenfolk a Sophie's choice:  She either gets to pick the cat or name it, and has no say in the other part of the equation.

OR

I heard a story today about intra-partum chaos that involves a stillborn fetus having its head torn clean off.

OR

The lifeflight helipad is about 500 feet from my living room window.  I've been takign pictures of them landing and taking off.  I can't stop! Check my flickr for the pics and also pics of the new house.

OR

I had a crazy patient the other night who was very confused.  We spent the first hour establishing the fact that a) she was in the hospital b) I was where I was supposed to be c) yes, you really are in the hospital d) Jay leno is an attractive man (that's how I knew she was nuts!) e) No, this is not your apartment and f) Yes, this is still the hospital.

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Man, the Nuge is a fucking nutjob.

"You see that film March of the Penguins? Remember how mother go get food to eat, then walk a long way back to ice where father keep nest? We lie on slope, fire on mother penguin as they walk back. Nuge, he shoot flaming arrow at one penguin, and scare many away. Penguin explode, they have so much oil in body. He run down and eat it right there, while still on arrow! He can't wait, he so hungry for penguin."

From: Clicky

Oh man I miss having a dog.  Clicky!

Seriously, stay with it for the payoff.  And it's not what you think it's going to be.

I just got my first check from the hospital, only 2 days worth of work, so I was expecting a nice hundred, 150 bucks after taxes.  I get a check for 25 dollars for some fucking Occupational Privilege Tax, which is 52 dollars.

What the fucking christ.

Superman Returns.

Good trailer, makes my panties a little tight.

<a href = "http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,193616,00.html">YOU BOYS LIKE MEXEECOOOOOO?</a>

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